Following tweets and updates about my Fundit project, I was asked by a couple of ladies ‘How can I find a farmer to marry?’. It seems my post about being married to a farmer hadn’t put them off!
So it got me thinking! What does make a farmer such a desirable catch ? It can’t just be the possibility of road frontage and a detached house – can it?? After all, half a century ago, country women were fleeing from potential farmer husbands to life in the big city as being married to a farmer was seen as having to work extremely hard, have numerous children, live in a ramshackle house or cottage and probably have to share the house with a mother-in-law – all well documented in poems by Kavanagh and books by Trevor and Keane.
Some time ago, I came across a post on eharmony – 15 reasons for dating a farmer which included being able to visit your husband as he works; being eco-aware is trendy; if he’s good with animals he will be kind; he will probably be healthy, loyal and protective; and free tractor rides!
Hence, it seems that the image of being a farmer’s wife has changed, that farmers are seen as good husband material. Not necessarily seen as wealthy even if he has got good road frontage but a good catch all the same. So how does one meet an eligible farmer bachelor in Ireland?
- The Ploughing Match – 80,000 people visit the Ploughing Match each day and a huge proportion of them are going to be farmers. Put 24-26th September in your diary now and head to Stradbally in Co. Laois for the possibility of meeting your future husband.
- The Mart – Farmers descend on the marts in their droves, be it buying or selling. What proportion of them are single and what proportion of those won’t have their Mammy with them I can’t say but it’s certainly a place to sit and view the talent.
- Horse Races – an occasion like the Galway Races is perfect too and you can really try to impress by going on a Ladies day and winning the prize for most suitably dressed. What man would say no to a woman who can dress impeccably and yet look like she can strut her stuff in wellies as well as heels.
- Head to Lisdoonvarna in September for their matchmaking festival. Once the harvest is in, bachelor farmers head there in their droves ?and you’ll be in safe hands with Willie Daly, a fourth generation matchmaker.
- Personal Column in the Farmers Journal – every week the Farmers Journal has a personal page where people can look for suitable matches. It is on the website?and is usually inside the back cover of the Irish Country Living supplement.
- Country dances – The Irish Country Living part of the Farmers Journal lists dances around the country – perfect for meeting a farmer.
- Macra na Feirme – if you are under 35, Macra seems to be the perfect place to meet a potential husband with their various events and meetings all across the country. With events such as public speaking, performing arts, community events, organised travel holidays – it’s perfect. I asked Macra if they had had many ‘Macra’ weddings and it seems there have been plenty. Not only that but 33% of those questioned in a survey said they expected to meet their life partner in Macra!
- Muddy Matches now has an Irish element to their dating website for country people with many success stories. Designed for those looking to meet someone leading a ‘muddy boots’ lifestyle, it seems to be a smaller and much more personal dating website than other ones. You can look for someone in NI or the ROI or limit it to an individual county within Ireland too.
“I met a wonderful man just 3 months ago on Muddy Matches. I can’t believe 2 Irish people living 10 kilometres apart ended up on a UK website, which ultimately brought us together. Well done with this website. I want to thank you so much. We’re both very happy and cannot wait for our future together. It’s looking so bright!!!!!” Bernadette
?Hi, Just thought you would be interested! Jen and I live in Ireland and thanks to you at Muddy Matches we met last year and have had a wonderful time and we are getting married in June. It goes without saying that we both think Muddy Matches is great. The concept of people of a similar background and interest being on a common site makes the possibility of meeting someone that much easier. Keep up the good work! All the Best? James
So there you have it – the low down on where to meet a bachelor farmer should you wish to marry an Irish farmer (from wherever you are in the world). I’d love to know where you met your farmer husband too – was it at a mart or Macra or a dating site? Sometime I’ll share the story of my courtship with Brian!
Image: Muddy Matches
I’m currently running a crowdfunding project for my upcoming book – ‘Would You Marry A Farmer’ which was inspired by this post. I’d love if you could pre-order a copy and support the project – it will be out before Christmas 🙂
John
Live in cavan looking for spmeone
ayearinredwood
Lorna, I will have to fill you in on the ‘tea dances’ as another option for meeting a farmer – though I suspect they would be more of the mountainy men type!!!! 🙂
Lorna
sounds like something out of ‘The Ballroom of Romance’ 😉
ayearinredwood
It is 🙂
Imen McDonnell (@ModernFarmette)
I get a dozen emails a year from women considering marrying farmers or wanting advice on how to meet a farmer….I’ve even gotten emails from men who want to know how they could meet someone like me, ha! I wrote about it a few times in the Journal as well. Richard and I met when he was on holiday in the USA and we transatlantically dated for nearly 2 years before I moved to Ireland. I will say one thing, if you’re not from a farming family, you won’t know what it’s like to live on a farm until you come and try it out for awhile!
Lorna
It is a great way of life but it does have its challenges – I think some people have romantic ideas about walking through flower strewn meadows whereas the reality can be much more representative of gritty realism 🙂
grasspunk
Hey, I walk through flower-strewn meadows daily, although I step in gritty realism fairly often.
Lorna
Love flower strewn meadows – any meadows around here seem to be strewn with rushes! Knew I should have headed to France rather than Ireland 😉
grasspunk
But how do you feel about drought, 37 degree summer days, tree-uprooting storms and bureaucracy? 🙂
Lorna
WE’ve plenty of bureaucracy here too – and flooded fields and yep, tree-uprooting storms occasionally too 😉 – Challenges for farmers wherever they are I think
Lorna
Plenty of bureaucracy here too and flooded fields and storms :0) I think there’s challenges in every farm wherever it is 😉
hrygth
That is amazing! I didn’t know that part of the story. Simon and I just jumped right into the deep end. 🙂 We met, fell in love, and within six months I was living in Ireland.
Lorna
How long is it now since you first met?
hrygth
We started talking (skype) in May of 2011, then met in May of last year. I moved to Ireland the following September.
grasspunk
How about “l’amour est dans le pr?” [love is in the pasture]?
http://www.m6.fr/emission-l_amour_est_dans_le_pre/agriculteur-saison-8/
You’d have to change countries. And speaking French would help. 🙂
Lorna
My French is probably better than my Irish – oooh, farming in France sounds pretty good to be honest 🙂
Muddy Matches (@MuddyMatches)
Thanks for the link grasspunk. I saw an episode of that when I was in France, I didn’t realise you could watch it online from elsewhere in the world. Heather
Jane Barry
I’ve been married to my farmer for six years now and have no complaints : ) He’s not a full time farmer but would love to be and I must admit I think it would be nice if he was.
Lorna
Yes, most part time farmers would love to be doing it fulltime – it’s not easy doing a day job and then doing farming in your ‘spare time’ even if the day job is part time too.
hrygth
I met my Irish farmer on wordpress. 🙂 He had a neat blog, and I happened across it one day. So there is a way to meet a farmer online, without going the traditional dating website route. Just search for farming blogs!
Lorna
Ah, I hadn’t thought of blogging – not that many Irish farmers are blogging although a sizeable minority are now tweeting. Excellent idea. Do tell us more though – did you comment and then he visited your blog or how did it all work out?
hrygth
You might have seen this when it was out – http://hrygth.com/2013/02/14/us/.
I commented on his blog, and he wrote back. I wasn’t actually blogging myself at the time. We started talking on twitter, then moved on to skype, and eventually he came out to California to see me. Now here I am. 🙂
Lorna
I did! I remember tweeting about how lovely I thought it all was and I meant to look up Simon’s blog but never did. What is it called again and I hope he will enter the Great Outdoors in the blog awards. I thought it was a fabulous story xx Best of luck to you both
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